Me too.” In that moment, I finally understood “what Satan means for evil, God can use for good.” When I finished and dared to look up at their reactions, tearstained faces were looking back at me. As I stood shaking at that podium, I shared exactly what and how God asked me to share. I’d laid it down every time there was an altar call.īut nothing brought the redemption that this day brought. I’d gone to God hundreds of times and asked for forgiveness. The shame of all the abuse and rejection was nothing compared to the shame of my choice to abort my child. I expected the ladies listening to all start stoning me…especially when I got to the part about my abortion. The first time I shared my story was nothing but an act of absolute obedience. And, quite simply, He kept whispering He loved me over and over again. He helped me see where the voices of doubt were coming from and challenged me to consider the source. He untangled my need for approval with the challenge to live for an audience of One. He met every one of my arguments with Scriptures about relying not on my strength but on Him. He wanted the impossible.īut God wouldn’t drop it. The parts that are safe and tidy and acceptable.”īut safe and tidy and acceptable were not what God was looking for. What I heard in reply was one simple yet life-changing question: “Will you share your story?” It was sobs pouring from a chest so heavy with burdens I thought I might literally break apart.ĭown on my face, I asked God to speak to me. Often I would have tears stream from my eyes while attempting to get through the lessons. I was simultaneously going through the books Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby and Victory Over the Darkness by Neil Anderson. Polished on the outside yet completely undone on the inside.Įventually the Lord called my bluff. I put up a front of perfection with carefully crafted words and a house and kids that looked just right. Who am I compared to all that?” Gradually, I shrank back. Sometimes I measured myself against other people. Do you really think God could use someone like you?” “You’ll never be a speaker.” “You are not wanted.” “Look at you. Early on in ministry the voices were loud and cruel. Whenever I’ve stepped out to do something I felt God calling me to do, the voices of criticism and condemnation have been there to greet me. Thought for the Day: God untangled my need for approval with the challenge to live for an audience of One. To accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good Here’s a peek into the pages of the devotional, complete with Scripture, thought, prayer, and reflection questions for the day. And I’m so excited to share it with you for the very first time. What Happens When Women Say Yes to God Devotional was born out of my own desire to grow closer to God through saying “yes” to Him every day. In my experiences as a wife, mom, and ministry leader I’ve had many moments where I felt stretched way too thin and spiritually malnourished. I know what it’s like to want that so desperately. Are you struggling to hear God’s voice or discern what He’s asking of you?
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